"Hello, I’m Jimmy Fallon. I had a dream. A dream that I could end the Weekend Update segment with an elaborate bit in which I am abducted by aliens. It required extensive riggings, countless rehearsals, and cost thousands of dollars. Everyone here happily indulged me and let me fulfill this dream. And then they were even more happy to watch it die horribly at dress rehearsal. Four times. Then they would cruelly cut it when it was time to go on air. But now, my dream will be fulfilled as you watch my favorite disaster: ‘Jimmy is Abducted by Aliens’."